What worked

(1/1) Comedy

This creator is really fun to watch.

He has a super playful style in his presentation, which comes across in the editing as well.

e.g. 0:38, he seems to have noticed (while editing) that he was starting to ramble, so he cuts himself off mid-sentence.

I also love seeing him improvise scenarios and having to make up prizes for his imaginary Zoom call participants (e.g. 1:34).

This all gives the impression he doesn’t take himself too seriously, which is super refreshing.

What to improve

(1/3) Hook

Reverse the order of the intro.

Start with the funny stuff about the cat and dozing off.

Or instil a little fear by saying something like “people are probably on their phones because, let’s be real, that’s exactly what you end up doing on a Zoom call, right?”

Addressing the audience directly is a better way to catch their attention than diving straight in with what you’re about to show them - they may not feel that they need it yet.

The other problem is that we see the exact same hook again at 0:45.

We’re still not receiving any of the actual information after nearly a minute.

(2/3) Scripting

When we get into the info, there’s a lot of pausing while the creator introduces the activities.